Why Should I Get-up?

I struggled with myself today. Why should I get-up? My body hurts. There are too many things to try to accomplish today. No matter what I do, I'll hardly make a dent in the mess that I've made of my life. Which way should I go? I am pulled in so many directions and all are important. If I quit on any of these, my entire life could unravel and I end up homeless on the street somewhere -- or worse in a New York City shelter.

I wrestle lying there: should I change my hours; can I do this 9 AM thing? My leg hurt so much. I need rest. I am hurting. I am tired. I need money to pay my car note. How am I going to make it? What choices do I have? Way do I have so many? Will any of them work? If I choose the wrong one will it cost me my legs or my life?

I fling the sheet, covers and quilt back, hoisting my legs to the floor, I push myself up. "What are you doing? Where are you going? Way don't you just call and change your schedule?" The me in my mind asks so many questions; I have answers to none. Twenty minutes to 9, I start getting dress for my 9:00 AM schedule at the Writing Lab -- part of my actually thinks I'll be on time, but of course I'll be later. I don't even know way I am going.

Dressed I decide to put on make-up. Looking in the mirror, I ask myself again, "Why are you going?" This time the answer comes, "I am going to write."